Who wears short shorts? I do, provided no one sees me

God bless Coolgardie and its bush tracks. I've posted a couple of times about why I love living in this little town (here and here). But I also love how you can go for a walk along the edge of town and not see anyone. Or, more importantly, have no one see you. 
This is particularly handy when I look a right fright because I am wearing either 
A) ill-fitting shorts from not just the pre-baby age, but way back from the pre-65kg+ Emma era; or
B) baby vomit, and very likely also some kind of kitchen leftovers, be it last night's dinner or baking mess; or
C) panda eyes. Mascara doesn't come off very well when all you tackle it with is a quick scrub in the shower; or 
D) some combination of a, b and c. 
It also means my dogs can poop in the bush and I don't have to worry about anyone frowning at me, or cleaning it from my back yard. (Please don't mention this to council.)

Not my actual lower half. In fact,
I don't think this lower half even
belongs to a human.
Image source.

My actual lower half.

But should anyone see you, one thing you must not do is refuse to wave. Chances are you know each other, and if you don't wave they'll probably think you're a snooty cow. They won't realise you're hiding your head in shame and pretending you haven't been caught wearing shorts that should have last seen the light of day when Kevin Rudd was in charge of the ALP. 
As you can tell, it's all glamour out here. Just the way I like it. 

Is finding exercise gear that is comfortable and suitable for public consumption tricky for you too? Or do you look like you've just stepped out of a Lorna Jane ad?

Update: Summer has forced me to fork out for membership at the local air conditioned gym. As im more likely to encounter others there I invested in some longer though not much more flattering shorts. I decided if I scare anyone they'll just have to live with it.  

Linking up with Jess from Essentially Jess for I Blog on Tuesdays. Thanks Jess.